ABSENT MINDED THOUGHTS

THE EVOLUTION OF COOL (PART 1)

Some times I just feel old. I really shouldn’t, but I do. I reflect on a lot of things, not anything that’s gonna change the world or anything, but I reflect nevertheless. Today, I came to the conclusion that I am no longer cool.

Back in the day I was cool (damn…sounding older by the minute), now it seems like I’m that grumpy old man (like every neighborhood has), who stands in the doorway in his drawers at night, hollering out into the street to “TURN THAT FUCKING MUSIC DOWN!”

Yeah, I know we played our music loud. Hell, I annoyed the hell out my neighbors…playing “Iron Man” incredibly loud and sloppy on my old Sears Harmony guitar when I was kid. I don’t know which was worse, my repeated attempts to master the old Black Sabbath standard or the pitiful wail of every dog in the neighborhood. However, I had a purpose in mind…I WAS AN ARTIST DAMN IT!

That brings me to the meaningless point of this essay… “The Evolution of Cool.”
I’m approaching this essay by examining what was cool in my dad’s day, my day, and what’s cool to the 18-20 something crowd today, but aggravates the piss out of me .

AUTOMOTIVE…

DAD‘S DAY: 40 Fords, 55-59 Chevy’s, 60s Mopar. (Note: my dad usually drove what was popular at the time, but I remember him having a # of cars that might not have fit into the cool category at that time…IE: He had 3 Metropolitans, a Packard, and a Ranchero).
Most cool cars were 2dr Hardtops and guzzled gas, gas, gas.

MY DAY: 60s Mustangs, 60s -70s Mopar, Corvettes, Volkswagen Beetles, Chevy Vans (Full size, no such thing as a Mini-Van), Four Wheel Drive Pickups (These were actually taken off the road back in my day and they didn’t cost an arm and a leg).
Again, most cool cars were 2dr Hardtops.

KIDS TODAY: 80s-90s Used Police Cars, SUV’s (that rarely see any off road conditions), Japanese Imports (with ground effects).
Nowadays, most of the cars that kids consider cool, are 4drs (even the new cars).

MY ANALYSES: I think kids today like 4dr vehicles for convenience. Not the convenience of being able to chauffer around the family, but the convenience of being able to bail out of a car after a high-speed chase involving the Police. It’s so inconvenient to have to push up the backrest of the passenger in front of you, when you’re in a hurry to exit the vehicle with the law hot on your heels, and exiting through the window with those baggy clothes on is just out of the question.

Which brings us to the next question…Why the interest in old Police cars? In my humble opinion it’s simple. They want to know what it’s like to ride in the front of one. That, and the fact that most of those old Police cars have adequate trunk space for a decent size boom box.

SUV’s? You don’t expect them to store ALL their weapons in their baggy pants do ya?

Lastly, the Japanese imports with the ground effects? I guess that’s just the effects of Hollywood on upper middle class youth. It was glamorized in “The Fast and the Furious,” so it’s cool now.

I’m bound to repeat this sentiment as I continue to through together random essays on “Pop Culture” at irregular intervals, but here it is anyway… “I fear that the only satisfaction I receive as an old man, will be living long enough to see the kids of today’s generation piss off their parents, just like they pissed off us, and we pissed off our parents.”

Yup, I guess it’s just a vicious cycle. I can almost hear my mom’s voice calling from back in the days of my youth… “Just wait till YOU have kids!”

posted by Mrite @ 5:16 PM