Friday, July 21, 2006


I hear a lot about father and son bonding. I’ve experienced it firsthand on a fishing trip or on a trip to buy my first car. However, I have never had a bonding experience while WORKING with or for my dad.

I can only come to ONE CONCLUSION: We are BOTH too HARDHEADED to truly get along in a work environment.

Don’t get me wrong, I respect my dad. I understand that he has years of experience on me, but he WILL NOT admit that he is WRONG about anything. It has been like that most of my life and it hasn’t changed in 45yrs.

My dad got me into the Millwright Union when I was a kid. I went through 4yrs (split up with 2yrs in between) of apprenticeship. The union said I was good enough to be a journeyman millwright after 4yrs, but if I ever worked on a job with my dad (and I have)…you would have thought I was a 1st year apprentice who didn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground. Not only that but GOD HELP me if I got on a job and my dad was foreman. I might as well have been a RED-HEADED STEP CHILD. My old man would work me TWICE as hard as anyone else. I understood his reasoning behind it, but that didn’t mean I had to like it. Whatever happened to nepotism? Couldn’t I get ONE TIT JOB?

I volunteered to do a job for my dad (clear 300ft of land for a fence line) and now it’s like I’m a 1st year apprentice all over again. Apparently I can’t read a tape measure? Apparently I can’t set a bench mark? Apparently the bench mark that he set is wrong, but it’s my fault? No! I know I set the damn benchmark in the RIGHT PLACE! He knows I set the benchmark in the RIGHT PLACE! But he ain’t gonna say so. Nope, he is gonna go with his memory and come off of what he thinks is the right benchmark which is the corner of someone else’s property and not the corner of his property. Yes dad there is red flag there, but it’s not your red flag…your red flag is where MY BENCHMARK IS!

Frustrating as it all is, I’ll finally acquiesce and end up clearing half a frigging forest and then (and only then) will it come out that my benchmark is right.

I love the old man, but damn he’s hardheaded…so, I guess I come by it naturally.

I need to keep a firm reign on my tongue, do as I’m told. I don’t know how much longer he’ll be around... No need to let a fence come between us.

Monday, July 03, 2006


Club Paris!?!

No, no, no…I don’t mean hit the bitch. I mean Paris snubbed the opening of her new nightclub in Jacksonville… CLUB PARIS.”

I’m really not surprised that Paris was a no show, I doubt she really knows where Jacksonville is. Yeah, she made an appearance here when the Super Bowl was in town, but it’s not like the dumbass piloted the private jet that flew her into town herself.

I’m a little more interested in why anyone thinks a CLUB PARIS is gonna survive in Jacksonville anyway? Don’t get me wrong… I’m all for bringing more attention to the city, I’m all for revitalizing downtown, but CLUB PARIS seems kind of Haute Culture to me (I have no idea if that is even a phrase).

I propose that the citizens of Jacksonville give Paris a chance to make up for snubbing the 2000 invited guest who attended the opening of her ritzy, overpriced, den of iniquity (ok… I know that’s an archaic term, but I’ve always wanted to use it), but what could we invite her to make an appearance at?

She seems to like football (at least Super Bowl parties anyway), maybe we could invite her to a Jaguar’s game? How about a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert? Maybe she could dance nekkid at the Gold Club? She could throw out the first pitch at a Suns game or bring a new episode of the Simple Life to town and have her wait tables at a Sonny’s Barbecue on the Westside? Oh… what to do, what to do?

Forgive my sarcasm…, but I could give a rats ass, as to whether Paris snubbed the opening of her new club, or not. I think it’s pretty telling of her own opinion about fame and celebrity. SHE’S A FLASH IN THE PAN AND SO IS HER CLUB! SHE KNOWS IT!!!

Hell, give me something tried and true… like a Hard Rock Café or a Planet Hollywood. Somebody on a message board wrote just what I think about Paris in a response to a post about this subject… “People famous for being famous...pfffft!”- TENENIT

I wonder if there is a death pool for nightclub ventures? If so, this one should be on the list… I may be wrong, but I don’t see it lasting long.

Here is a review from someone who actually got to attend the opening of the club. His review is much more polished than my scathing criticism of a pop culture tragedy in the making.

To borrow a line from Monty Python…“AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT” (Well almost)…

Q: What did Paris Hilton’s right leg say to the left leg?
A: Nothing. They've never met.
A: Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.

Q: How can you tell when Paris is dating?
A: By the buckle print on her forehead.

A: Paris going through a flashing red light.

Q: Why can't Paris get a drivers license?
A: Because every time the instructor says "Let's park" she jumps in the back seat.

Q: Why does Paris have TGIF on her shoes?
A1: Toes Go In First.
A2: Tits Go In Front.

Paris was walking along, when she looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when it was directly over her. Paris says,"Good thing I had my mouth open, or that would've hit me right in the face!!!"

Paris and Nicole are walking along in a park. Nicole says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie."Paris stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"

Q: What do Paris Hilton and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.