Saturday, June 03, 2006

CHANGES

Boy what a week. There has been good news, bad news, and mediocre news in my world this week.

BAD NEWS.

It seems that there is a death watch for a good friend of mine. This guy is only 46yrs old, yet he’s on his deathbed in the hospital as I type this.

25yrs ago this guy was strong as an ox. He could bench press 300lbs, he was a hard worker and took care of his body. When we first started hanging out he was into the whole health food, exercise thing. He worked hard and he played hard as well. We were what you might call drinking buddies. We both liked to drink. It eventually cost him his marriage and now it looks like it’s gonna cost him his life.

Five years ago he was diagnosed with diabetes, something that (at the time) could have been regulated with paying strict attention to his diet and monitoring his blood sugar. He was also advised to give up drinking or at least cut back to a reasonable level. He made several unsuccessful attempts to do that. He was in and out of rehab several times, but always fell back into the lifestyle of alcohol dependency.

Like a lot of us (I’ve been there), he had his reasons (or excuses) for falling off the wagon. Sometimes it was pressure from his job, sometimes he blamed his family (stepfather, sometimes his ex wife), sometimes it just seemed to him that everybody was against him. Friends (myself included) and family alike tried to talk to him or just get him to realize what he was doing to himself. But, in his eyes it seemed that we were just preaching to him.

I did my best to lead by example, I didn’t preach at him about his drinking (I like to think I could empathize with him), I just hoped that he could see through me that someone could go on with life and find happiness without a drink in his hand. Sadly, he was just tortured by too many inner demons… he tried unsuccessfully to let go of the bottle, but it wouldn’t let go of him.

He now has Cirrhosis of the liver, made all the more deadly by hepatitis C. They have pumped the poison out of his system several times, this last time they said it may take 4 days of waiting before they can pump out any more and even then it’s only gonna prolong the inevitable. He has asked that his pick-up truck, his two bass guitars and property go to his 14yr old daughter, as well as his insurance money when she is old enough.
I can’t get in to see him right now, I’m afraid the only time I’ll get to see him is at his viewing, before he’s cremated. I hope that when this is all over he’ll find that peace he was always looking for.
[Note: This tribute to my friend was posted on my Xanga. I post it again here, because I know that many of you don't read Xanga.]

5 Comments:

At 7:13 PM, Blogger LL said...

I'm sorry. I hope you get a chance to touch your friend's hand and say good bye before he passes. You're in my thoughts.

 
At 4:21 PM, Blogger Kat said...

I'm so sorry to hear this... how sad for you to have to watch him go thru this! You are in our thoughts & prayers.

 
At 7:14 PM, Blogger Beerspitnight said...

Hi-
I dig your site and was wondering if it was cool if I add a link to your site on my blog Raw Words
Thanks for the words!
Brian-

 
At 7:15 PM, Blogger Beerspitnight said...

Hi-
I dig your site and was wondering if it was cool if I add a link to your site on my blog Raw Words
Thanks for the touching words and insight.
Brian-

 
At 7:10 PM, Blogger Mrite said...

beerspitnight...

Go for it. This is a public site and you are more than welcome to link to it.

I've looked at some of your stuff and I'm more than honored that you would consider my musings worthy of a link :-D

 

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