Monday, July 03, 2006


Club Paris!?!

No, no, no…I don’t mean hit the bitch. I mean Paris snubbed the opening of her new nightclub in Jacksonville… CLUB PARIS.”

I’m really not surprised that Paris was a no show, I doubt she really knows where Jacksonville is. Yeah, she made an appearance here when the Super Bowl was in town, but it’s not like the dumbass piloted the private jet that flew her into town herself.

I’m a little more interested in why anyone thinks a CLUB PARIS is gonna survive in Jacksonville anyway? Don’t get me wrong… I’m all for bringing more attention to the city, I’m all for revitalizing downtown, but CLUB PARIS seems kind of Haute Culture to me (I have no idea if that is even a phrase).

I propose that the citizens of Jacksonville give Paris a chance to make up for snubbing the 2000 invited guest who attended the opening of her ritzy, overpriced, den of iniquity (ok… I know that’s an archaic term, but I’ve always wanted to use it), but what could we invite her to make an appearance at?

She seems to like football (at least Super Bowl parties anyway), maybe we could invite her to a Jaguar’s game? How about a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert? Maybe she could dance nekkid at the Gold Club? She could throw out the first pitch at a Suns game or bring a new episode of the Simple Life to town and have her wait tables at a Sonny’s Barbecue on the Westside? Oh… what to do, what to do?

Forgive my sarcasm…, but I could give a rats ass, as to whether Paris snubbed the opening of her new club, or not. I think it’s pretty telling of her own opinion about fame and celebrity. SHE’S A FLASH IN THE PAN AND SO IS HER CLUB! SHE KNOWS IT!!!

Hell, give me something tried and true… like a Hard Rock Café or a Planet Hollywood. Somebody on a message board wrote just what I think about Paris in a response to a post about this subject… “People famous for being famous...pfffft!”- TENENIT

I wonder if there is a death pool for nightclub ventures? If so, this one should be on the list… I may be wrong, but I don’t see it lasting long.

Here is a review from someone who actually got to attend the opening of the club. His review is much more polished than my scathing criticism of a pop culture tragedy in the making.

To borrow a line from Monty Python…“AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT” (Well almost)…

Q: What did Paris Hilton’s right leg say to the left leg?
A: Nothing. They've never met.
A: Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.

Q: How can you tell when Paris is dating?
A: By the buckle print on her forehead.

A: Paris going through a flashing red light.

Q: Why can't Paris get a drivers license?
A: Because every time the instructor says "Let's park" she jumps in the back seat.

Q: Why does Paris have TGIF on her shoes?
A1: Toes Go In First.
A2: Tits Go In Front.

Paris was walking along, when she looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when it was directly over her. Paris says,"Good thing I had my mouth open, or that would've hit me right in the face!!!"

Paris and Nicole are walking along in a park. Nicole says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie."Paris stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"

Q: What do Paris Hilton and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.


At 9:38 PM, Blogger BlogDog said...

"CLUB PARIS" should be the instructions that come with any decent sized bat or similar hitting implement.
Or maybe tattooed on any one of a hundred Hollywood penii.

At 7:05 PM, Blogger Ron Southern said...

This is the rat's ass and I won't be given away, no matter how noble your purpose may be!

Death to those famous for being famous!

At 5:25 AM, Blogger deb50 said...

What's funny is that since I usually watch re-runs of Law and Order this and that, or Frazier, I didn't even know about Paris Hilton until recently. I thought it was a place where french speaking people went on vacation.


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